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From a father in prison to a son in jail
An American Father’s Day letter
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, about 24 million children — 1 in 3 — live without a father in the home…Nearly 3 million children (mostly kids of color) have a parent (most commonly a father) in prison or jail…Fathers in prison were, overwhelmingly, fatherless themselves. Youths in father-absent households have significantly higher odds of being incarcerated.
Read a shortened version of this letter on Huffpost Personal.
Dear son:
It’s customary for children to honor their dads on Father’s Day, but for all intents and purposes, I never had a father. I swore that if I had a son of my own, I’d be there for him. But I wasn’t; instead, I’ve spent the last 24 years in prison, starting from before you were even born. When we finally find ourselves together, without a phone, glass partition or table in a visiting hall between us, it’s in jail! Yet even now, due to COVID-19, we still can’t really be together; we’re all separated. And once that eases, I fear I will be moved back to the “fed” in Florida [since D.C. doesn’t have its own prison]. So, I am writing you a letter, in the hope this will go a little way toward forging a real father-son bond.
When Ma told me the police had kicked in the door and arrested you, the news floored me. Ma blames herself of course. It is like I am watching her relive the same traumatic experience she went through with me, when I was arrested at 16. The only difference is that this time, I am mature enough to understand and internalize her pain. I already apologized to her and now I want to apologize to you.
I should have been there for you as a father. Mom/your grandmother should not have had to raise my son. How can I explain my absence to you?
When you were conceived, I was just a child myself. I acted like I thought a man should, but I didn’t understand the ramifications of the daily choices I made. I was infatuated with the streets, and it didn’t occur to me that my lifestyle would one day, very soon, prevent me from being able to be the son and father I wanted to be. I…
