Look at Me

The only thing I have to hold onto at night is my faith

Antwon Holcomb

I am someone who never cried tears of joy.
I always cried the tears of an unwanted boy —
lost in the world with no way out,
still fearing I didn’t know what being a man is about.

On my body there are scars
from the many battles life has produced.
And my head is so damaged, it hangs loosely
like a neck in a noose.

I can see no further than my penitentiary cell.
I wonder what it means for liberty to ring its bell
and what it will take for the world
to finally look at me.

I guess it’s true what my granny said,
when she told me that through God
is the only way I can be free.

They talk about the pursuit of happiness.
Pursue what?
Man, look at how the years run by.
I went from sane
to a little crazy
to losing my mind.
The only thing I have to hold onto at night
is faith.

Do you know how it feels to wanna cry,
but to not let the tears run down your face?
That is the pain I deal with every day.

Last night, I looked at my reflection in the mirror
and saw the first strand of gray hair on my face.
That’s when I knew
that a bad decision I made when I was young
will prove to be the reason I won’t have a life.
that’s when I knew this is it for me.

I just have one question for the world:
When will you finally look at me?



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More Than Our Crimes

Rob Barton has been incarcerated for 26 years. Pam Bailey is his collaborator/editor. Learn more at MoreThanOurCrimes.org